Stay at Home Wannabe

BJ'S Wholesale Club Event

2010-09-04T06:56:00.000-07:00

Thursday was a BJ's Back to school event, which I was fortunate to attend. I have been a BJ's club member for some 10 years now. We had the opportunity to see and sample a lot of the items BJ's offer for back to school, from healthy snacks to name brand clothing, like Izod, to back packs and notebooks and pens and pencils ect. Being a BJ's shopper I already have some of the outfits for my daughter but the item I loved, which I didn't know existed was erasable highlighters. Yeah! Where were they when I was in school. I am very fortunate and blessed to have the best job in the world, I work for the number 1 college in America according to Forbes Magazine, The United States Military Academy at West Point. I can't wait to to tell my guys about the highlighters. I am sure they will love them too.
I want to thank BJ's for the back pack full of supplies and the jacket for my daughter, which they gave us for attending and my sister-in-law Kristina for the invite to the event. Thank you!

Finding the time and energy....

2010-09-01T20:32:00.000-07:00

Well it has been some time since I last wrote something, so I am going to try and do a better job at it. It really is hard to find the time to write. I go to work, come home make dinner tend to the kids, tend to the mother, then go to the gym, by the time I get home I am exhausted. Like now I am falling asleep. The kids are back to school so I am going to try to make a schedule and fit some time for me and blogging in.

to begin another time...

2009-10-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

I am going to write a blog about how my mother is jealous or something about my bariatric surgery....and how she is so perfect and does all the right things ... and lost 175 pounds all by herself ....let me just say she is so full of shit if you saw her ass it looks like it has been building up there for 50 years....any way ... I am just to tired tonight to write it , but I don't want to forget the subject....lol...lol...lol...until tomorrow ..maybe...good night all...

My Mother....

2009-10-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Well I think my mother is trying to kill me...lol...lol...She uses a walker and she doesn't really need it ... it is a tool in her plan ...it seems to fall right in front of me when my hands are full and I almost break my neck and fall down the stairs ...when we are out in public her walker pulls up the carpet so when I walk past her to open the door for her i trip and yes almost break my neck....lol...lol...then I help her in the house with the dam thing and almost break my neck because I have everything in my hands and the walker gets hung up on things getting in the door and I loose my balance...so anyone have any suggestions about how to loose the walker please help.....she truly doesn't need it, she uses it for attention... help me please...lol...lol...

Banckruptcy....

2009-10-17T16:05:00.000-07:00

This year has really been hell for me. Not too much good in my life. On top of my father dying, I also claimed bankruptcy. I, in my infinite wisdom thought that I was supposed to pay for a mortgage for a house I didn't live in and for my apartment that I did live in and all my other bills on my small income. Well I soon found myself in $35,000.00 in debt and falling faster and faster so I went on-line to ask a question about bankruptcy and within 5 minutes, no lie, a lawyer in my area called me back at10pm and spoke with me for an hour. I made an appointment with him and got the ball rolling. Everything took about 3 months from start to finish and I was debt free.

My lawyer was terrific. He handled everything, and it was painless, I really did nothing. It is not my ideal solution. I have always had excellent credit and prided myself on that, but when you marry an ass who had money problems prior to getting married, well, I should have seen it coming. I thought I could control it.

I have learned I can only control myself and my actions, and my thoughts. I have learned a very hard costly lesson. I now am trying real hard to get thing financial back in order. It is going to take some time but I am determined. I have a plan and hopefully it will all work out ...In 2010 I WIN!

Bariatric Surgery

2009-10-17T14:49:00.000-07:00

Ok on a good note, In on June 1st I had a duodenal switch, which is bariatric surgery. I had 90% of my stomach removed and my small intestine shortened and some switching of things. It took me about 4 years and too many attempts to count to loose weight before deciding the surgery was for me. I was 80 pounds over weight, I had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, depression ( was fat because I was depressed and I was depressed because I was fat), my breathing was labored, and I just felt horrible, also my mother and father both have all my problems and heart and lung, and kidney problems and diabetes, and obesity. I was headed steadfast in their tracks and I was determined it wasn't going to happen to me. I need to be around for my 5 year old daughter. I was ready.

I went to my doctor and got the ball rolling. From June 1st, 2009 to present I am happy to report I have never felt better an I have lost 75lbs. I feel wonderful.

Now I will tell you this it was not easy by any means. I had the surgery and the first 6 weeks were hell. There were times and days I was so sorry I had the surgery and really really was devastated. But there is a god, i prayed and god made every day a little better. I couldn't eat solid food and could only drink out of a medicine cup and sip all day long. I felt thirsty all the time, I never felt hungry, but was supposed to eat, I had no strength because I didn't eat, but then I got it together and did what I was suppose to do and it all fell into place.

My doctor is the best and research proved that. He is the top in the country, he is one of the only doctors that will do the duodenal switch because it is very risky, but not for him..lol...lol...he is very sure of himself...lol..lol...but it was the only surgery I could have because of the type of stomach condition I have. I had originally wanted the lap band surgery.

Well I am soooo ecstatic right now. I look great and feel great and if anyone is considering it I would love to share my experience and hard work with you. Also, it is only a tool, I still continue to work hard, I have to eat right and exercise, (which i am not to good at...lol...lol...lol...) to make the surgery a continued success, I can become fat and unhealthy all over again. But I am determined and am loving my new lease on life. YEAH ME!

My 16 year old now 17 year old....

2009-10-17T11:52:00.000-07:00

This year is so full of surprises.

My youngest son has friends that I just don't like. I have never liked any of his friends. When I discuss his friends with him he gets very defensive and sticks up for his friends and swears he would "take a bullet for them." I ask him if they would do the same and he doesn't answer.

One friend suggested that they to go to the store so he could steal a scorpion and my son said yes so that he could steal crickets for his tarantula. Needless to say my son was arrested when he went back to the store and his friend he would take a bullet for left him high and dry.

My son was arrested for stealing $3.00 worth of crickets and he took the rap for the scorpion. He lives with his father (that is another story) and his father never took him to court on the proper day. A warrant was issued and my son turned himself in and was arrested a 2nd time for not appearing to court.

When he got the new date I took him. Now I am humiliated thinking I am going to know the judge or court clerks or lawyers because I was involved in the town and knew lots of people, but to my relief, I didn't know anyone. My son on the other hand, had friends there and as they came in they all said hello to each other as if they were at a social function or gathering. Then he also made a friend while there.

Next came the real good ones, the convicts in orange jump suits and they were shackled together from the county jail. My son had a friend in that group, and my son's best friend's step-father was there too. They all said "hi" to each other as though nothing was wrong.

I was soooooooo upset and my son couldn't understand that....Oh yeah, i forgot when we were first going into court my son was afraid, but after his friend cam in and told him it was my sons first time it would be nothing he had a big change in attitude.

Well he got off with a slap on the wrist although I told the prosecutor to give him at least community service and the prosecutor said no. I need to talk to him before our turn then he would have gotten some. I am fighting to get physical custody back of my son so we will see, pray for me.

His father really didn't think this situation was a problem and the fact that his son is smoking pot, got arrested, failed classes and summer school is no big deal. I guess I really know how to pick them...lol...lol...lol...lol...I believe it is never to late to intervene.

I can't go back I can only move forward. I did what I believed to be the best for everyone at the time I decided to let him move to his father's but circumstances have changed. I will do what I need to do for now.

ok...what came next...lol...

2009-10-17T11:12:00.000-07:00

Well where do I begin. I moved in with my mother. It has been good move at all. She is crazy.
You just can't move back home when you have been gone for 24 years. I am a 45 year old twice divorced woman with 3 grown children and a 5 year old. I was told that I couldn't have anymore children and 12 years later surprise... but that is another story...lol..

Back to the crazy mother.

She has rules.

Rule 1: I can't have any sleep overs. I can understand if I were a child or even a young adult but I can't sleepovers unless I am married. Well, we all can guess that is not going to happen and just really sucks. I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 years now so it is not like I just met him and decided to bring him over to well, sleep with. He is steady in my life. She does not even let him come downstairs to my room watch tv with me. Whatever we deal although I need some alone time with him...lol...lol...lol.

Rule number 2: Do everything I say and the way I say to do it or I will yell, scream , say the meanest things to you and cry. This woman is the most dependent woman on this planet and she really believes everyone owes her. She is mean and selfish and just doesn't give a shit ... never says please or thank you and just barks orders at you. Her friends don't even want to be around her.

The worse part is that she doesn't even want to see it. I need to get out. Mow. Unfortunately I have no choice but to stay. I have decided to pick myself up and do whatever it takes to get out and run as fast as I can.

Pray I get a 2nd job. I have some feelers out. Then I will get my finances in order and good ridden. I just don't have the strength or the time to type everything to give you a better picture of what I live with daily.

Here is just one day. I wake up between 5:30 - 5:45 AM go to work until 3:45. I leave work and at 4:45 pick up the 5 year old at the sitters. Then I go pick up my mother from Dialysis which is thrity minutes from out home so I have to bypass home to get her. I always ask how she feels and how her day was and she doesn't even say hello. She tells me that I have to take her to the store or something. If I say no she has a fit. We go home and she says what are you, meaning me, making for dinner. I cook dinner, she eats and goes to sleep at the table.

Now she made a rule that if you cook the other person cleans, well that rule does not apply to me. I cook then clean, do my daughters homework with her, bathe her and then put her to bed. Then I get everything ready for the next day and straighten up the house and go down to my room, it is usually 9:00pm.

She does absolutely nothing and she tells me all the stuff I have to do:
take out the garbage
sweep the floor
take out recycling
etc.

And that is a good day. I can't sit for a minute because she always has something for me to do. Mind you she chose the life she lives. She really hates the fact that I am there but she convinced me to mover here. I want to put her in an assisted living facility because she says she cannot do anything. She won't drive so I have to drive her everywhere. She says she can't walk up and down the stairs, she refuses to make alternate arrangements for travel- she just won't hear of it. She just inconveniences me and everyone one else because the world owes her... I just want to scream.......

Been gone for awhile....

2009-08-03T18:03:00.000-07:00

Well alot has happened since I last signed on....my dad passed away and I moved in with my
crasy insane I can just keep going ...mother....I had bariatric surgery....all at the same time ... so I have been busy.... I don't know where to begin.... it hasn't been easy by any means.... but I did have a brite spot this last week end ( my dad passed on may 3rd) so thats how long ago things haven't been so great... ohhhh yeah I also claimed bancrupcy thank you ex husband number 2....lol...ok back to this past week end, my sister-in-law invited me to an event for jamia nash, a wonderful little girl and extreamly talented and bright.... it was in nyc build a bear, so of course I brought my 4 year old daughter ..... well I actually had a big acomplishment I drove into the city something I never thought I could do ...and we had the best time....jamia is a real down home well grounded and wonderful young lady.... she is bright and focused... and I wish her all the best, and I know she will go far.... jamia was promoting Love, Hugs, and Peace to benefit Save the Children. Build a Bear workshop sponsered this and we got to build a bear it was wonderful and my daughter Emma and her cousin Mya had a great time and a bear...and I am new to this so when I figure out how to put pictures on here I will add some...lol...lol...lol...

where do I begin....

2009-05-22T18:14:00.000-07:00

So where do I begin... well I was at a Diane Birch concert and enjoying myself immensely when I received a phone call saying I needed to get to the hospital my father (who had been ill) Was not doing well and didn't have much time to live....I was out in a flash and to the hospital we went....
when we got there we were told of his condition and he wasn't going to get better.. so we made a decision to stop all treatment because this is what he wanted.... it was a very difficult decision... but one that had to be made ... he would never want to live under those conditions.... He was a big strong man who never stopped he enjoyed life.... and his family....well he passed away a day later... I was at his bedside with my hand on his heart as he took his last breath.... I am so glad I was there.... he went peacefully with his whole family around him.... I miss him sooo much....
I LOVE YOU POPPY!!!!

Diane Birch

2009-05-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

where do I begin.... well I set out for a great night in new york city.... left work , got to the village, found Webster hall .... went and had dinner and went back to Webster hall and met Diane Birch's manager and he is a great guy.... well I wasn't sure what kind of music she played and was very pleasantly surprised .... it was a cross between country and jazz and rock... it was great ... it was easy to understand and the lyrics were meaningful.... she performed for a sold out audience as she opened for Jim Morrison.... and the entire house seemed to enjoy Diane's amazing performance...

Moving back with your parents....

2009-04-21T17:53:00.000-07:00

well I have so many mixed feelings.... I don't really have a choice... I am finacially broke and my parents are not well so I guess it is what it is ... we will be helping each other out... it is just so hard I have been gone for 24 years and the thought of going back is sooooo scary.... my mother is crasy and thinks she can still enforce rules from when I was 16 and it is just going to be horrible... well I hope it will work itself out.... things happen for a reason... so we shall see ... it is not forever just for a while....I hope we can all help each other out and live together harmoniously.... I am thinking positivly..... I will keep you posted...

If I could only....

2009-04-14T20:29:00.000-07:00

If I could only have enough money....
If I could only have enough time....
If I could only do what I want....
If I could only do it when I want to....
If I could only have everything my way....
If I could only have whatever I want....

Well If I could only ..... It is a nice unrealistic thought .... because we would all live in a perfect world if I could only..... lol...lol...lol...lol...

So I will continue to work towards If I could only.....

Divorce and child support stink!!!!!!!

2009-04-06T18:02:00.000-07:00

Well so much for doing the right thing....NY child support law says you pay till the child is 21...school doesn't matter.... my advice to all you women out there .... put a stipulation in your divorce papers stating that child support is paid until the child is 18 unless they are in school or 21 and in school.... it is a big detail that will bite you in the end......get a really really good lawyer and make sure you get what you deserve and don't try to be nice .... the men are never ..... I thought I would just be nice, do the right thing, and the ex's just are mean and nasty..... and me and the kids are the ones who suffer..... well lesson learned.... the hard way.... I will survive if only to show them they can't beat me....

2009-04-04T19:09:00.000-07:00

I am so upset........I guess this is what they mean when they say you have consequences for your actions....I have made some bad choices and now I have to deal with the consequences.......I try to do the right thing but I follow my heart and not my gut.....and I just don't know how to say no and hurt peoples feelings.... and no one cares about my feelings....it really sucks....I know I will get through this it just hurts like hell.... and makes me so sad and depressed.....I have to let my boyfriend go .... and if we were meant to be we will be... and I can look at the bright side .... it will give me a place to go on vacation and it doesn't cost alot at all....and I can go in the winter and be warm...lol.... and he can come visit me.... and there are worse things in life than moving back home with mom and dad..... I can try and save some money and get back out on my own... I won't be able to save much it will take awhile but hey i can do it.....I just have to stay positive....things work out for a reason... I do believe that...I will miss him terribly .... but I guess I will find out if he really feels the way he says he does for me..... I wish we could look into a Chrystal ball and see the future and make our choices on that.... wouldn't that be great ... boring but good....lol...I guess I do love this guy ..... I didn't think I did but it is killing me to let him go.... but we will see.... he says he is going to send for me...lol..lol...lol... he is going to get set up and then convince me to come ..... we will see.....

Men.....Ughhhhh

2009-03-29T06:25:00.000-07:00

I really don't like men anymore.....I just get all the wrong ones....I believe you have one true love in your lifetime and I really thought it was my 1st husband ..... we were high school sweet hearts and were together for almost 20 years .... we have 3 beautiful kids together and we had so much.....but he just didn't care ..... I tried my hardest to make it work but he just didn't want to ... everything is his way or no way..... so we broke up.... and of course I ruined his life....( as he puts it) .... I feel I am a good person I try to do the right thing I don't take advantage didn't milk him in child support never took him for a raise in support over 11 years..... now the kids live with him and he is taking me for everything .... all because I ruined his life.... he is paying me back....how do these men sleep at night ..... I did everything for this man.... he was my whole life....and he knew it .... it will be OK .... I am a survivor... then I met another man .... I shouldn't have married him and I knew it but he was a nice guy and he was good to me and my kids.....the complete opposite of the first one.... he wanted to get married because all his friends were and he pushed .... and my kids wanted the family thing .... ( they didn't see there father...he had not time for them ...) and I was in a place that I figured it would be OK and I could do it for the rest of my life.... well I was married for 6 months and found out he was cheating ... he was meeting women off the Internet... I just put a wall up and figured it was a way of life for me .... I could just keep going and no care..... then it got to the point where I need it to work .... I begged him to work things out .... and again nope .... divorced a second time ..... now he is ready to work things out .... these men just don't get it ,.... I can only try for so many years.... then I am done trying ... and it is over .... well this one made me and his daughter leave the house and I had to let my son go to his fathers and now I am bankrupt..... then I start dating a man that is different from them all.... so I thought .... he found me .... I didn't find him.... well it was all fun and everything was suppose to be great .... well he has no job and no income and can't help me out .... he was suppose to help me out when he moved in .... so now I am totally broke and have to go live with my mom .... well I guess tings happen for a reason .... and she could use my help so we will see.... another new adventure in my life.... and just for kicks.... with all of the men in my life ... the money was mine.... my first husband ... I made more money and bought our house and got him his great job ..... second husband I had all the money and he bankrupt me.... and the 3rd guy well he just makes me totally broke.....lol...lol...lol...I will say though if the 3rd guy had money he is the guy for me...... we love doing things together and being with each other..... he just really has nothing and I can't support all of us.... well I think I should give up .... lol...lol...lol...lol...

Days End

2009-03-22T16:56:00.000-07:00

I can't wait till this day ends.... it started out not so great and it didn't get any better ohhhh how I wish I could just get away from it all.....I have so much to do and so little time//////lol...lol..lol...
I was just off for a week and didn't enjoy any of it....not true ....I did enjoy parts of it .... I can't wait until April fools day..... I start my final weight loss program....I am so excited.... I will let everyone know how it goes ....well gotta go ....my work is never done ....laundry then kids hair cut ...have to make bed....and then go to sleep to wake up to go to work .....I am thankful I do have a job and am healthy and a wonderful family.....and even for my crazy ass man who thinks the he is the king....he will learn...lol...lol...lol....

2009-03-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Well here I am just sitting here watching my brothers daughter and my daughter so my brother and sister-in-law can go get her nieces for the weekend.....lol...these 2 little girls are sooooo funny ....they take turns driving me nuts....one comes out then the other....it is funny.... I don't mind......they are making a mess but I don't have to clean it...lol...I should but I don't have to....I might just a little....

2009-03-20T17:04:00.000-07:00

Hi all....well lets see.... I am a single working mom of 4 ...I have 3 boys and 12 years later had the little girl.... wow what a difference in the sexes....( give me boys )...lol...lol...lol...I love my job and the people I work with ...and I work in the most beautiful place in NY.... the views are spectacular and the sunrise as I ride over the mountain every morning just re-enforces God can make everything ok....they are magnificent....I am in a relationship with a very nice gentleman and love being with him ....he makes me laugh and we just have fun together.... I am waiting for my turn to hit the lottery....I have the Dream but not always the dollar.... but my turn will come ....I have patients....lol...lol...lol...